What to do with gender identity confusion?

NeverUnloved is a ministry for those who are walking through the struggle of unwanted gender identity confusion (the medical term/diagnosis would be gender identity dysphoria). There are many people who wrestle with the fact that their body is biologically one sex and yet their feelings tell them that they want to be the opposite. NeverUnloved is a community that is walking that struggle and understands it. 

The struggle and feelings are very real! There is no doubt or denial there.

You are not alone! 

While the brokenness may seem obvious, the solution may not be. Our society tells us who wrestle with our gender identity that the answer is to transition and live as your feelings dictate. Yet, this is not addressing the real issue and may simply make the problem worse.

If someone enters counseling for a problem they are experiencing, the participant is encouraged to explore and deal with the root issues. There may be an addiction or escape present but that is generally not the root issue but a symptom of something deeper. Like an alcoholic, the underlying problem is not typically a deep love and insatiable thirst for flavor of alcohol but a deeper issue that the person uses alcohol to escape from. If a person simply works to refrain from the alcohol and never addresses the deeper issues, the person will never be fulfilled and complete. They will need to fill the gap with something else and all they're doing is fooling themselves and those around.

"[P]utting on a dress doesn't biologically change anything. Nor does a sex-change...sex-reassignment is

physically impossible. All you can do is adopt these superficial characteristics but the biology will never


- transgender actor and activist Alexis Arquette is quoted in The Hollywood Reporter (9/13/2016)

Living a life in opposition to your biology is living a lie and hoping no one sees through it. From our experience, we have seen that the majority of individuals who are transgendered seem to be wrestling with an issue that is deeper than gender identity. It is an issue of simple identity. It is easy for a person to say that they feel trapped in the wrong physiology and that the solution is to manipulate their body parts to match their feelings. But that is simply addressing the symptom and not the root issue. It's like putting a band-aid over a snake bite. It may cover the problem but the wound is still festering and rotting underneath. 

know that hope and restoration is available.

We believe that the majority of those who struggle with gender identity confusion and transgenderism do not do so because of a physical deformity that needs to be medically corrected but the issue is with the mind, with the emotions, and with the environment in which they have been developing.

That does not discount the FACT that the struggle is real and the pain is genuine. But know that the answer is not to find one's identity in the other gender but to find our identity in Jesus Christ!

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. This life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

- Galatians 2:20

There is a famous illustration about a policeman who was walking his beat one night. He noticed a man under a bright streetlamp on his hands and knees frantically looking for something on the sidewalk. The policeman walks over to the man and asks him what he is doing. The man responds by explaining that he dropped his wallet and now cannot find it. The policeman offers to help the man look and the two of them search for the missing wallet.


After a few minutes of searching without any luck, the policeman asks, “Are you sure that this is where you dropped the wallet?”

The man answers while pointing to the other side of the road, “No, I dropped it over there.”

Surprised, the policeman stands up straight and looks at the man. He asks, “Then why are you over here looking under this lamp?”

The man responds, “Because the light is better over here.”​

NeverUnloved wants to help others seek healing and restoration where healing and restoration can be found…not where it seems easy or where we want it to be found.

NeverUnloved wants to help others seek healing and restoration where healing and restoration can be found…not where it seems easy or where we want it to be found. It is not found in adjusting our physical bodies but in resting in the truth and embracing the beautiful uniqueness of who God says that we are.​

In John 8:31-32, "Jesus said, 'If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.''

Later on Jesus said in John 14:6 that He is the truth. It is through God that we are set free and able to live in truth. The truth is not just the skin I'm in, it's who God says that I am and who He has made us to be.

You are valued and loved for who you are. God cares for you and made you for a purpose.


Wholeness and fulfillment can be found. Ultimately, that true recovery comes from a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Jesus said that he wants us to have an abundant life and experience life to the fullest (John 10:10)! Jesus loves you right where you are at! You don’t have to do anything to earn that love as He has already given that to you. Your job is simply to accept that love and to see God work in your life.

Paul reminds us:

For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.   - Colossians 3:3-4

We desire to be a place of support for those who are walking this difficult path and love those who love you. As the Psalmist wrote in Psalm 68:6, "God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing". Struggling with gender identity and transgenderism can be one of the most lonely and isolating feelings.


But.....it doesn't have to be! 

"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'"

- John 14:6

God placed us in community together. That is the main desire of NeverUnloved, to be community for those who are walking through unwanted gender identity confusion to encourage one another that freedom is found in Christ and he will lead us to truth. 

Let's chat and journey together. You are never alone and you are NeverUnloved! 

©2019 by NeverUnloved.